Haunted...

Last week a friend of mine posted a link on her Facebook. It read.... 

Ban Live Export

I paused and thought... huh! They export stock when they are alive? That can't be right I thought. I clicked the Link.  I was not warned about what I was going to be viewing so I will warn you. As much as the footage is VERY distressing and upsetting, I think its good for people to open their eyes to this and see what is going on. 


I watched this footage on my own on Friday whilst my girls were napping. And I then watched it with my husband later Friday night. The tears streamed down our faces. How can this be allowed to happen? How can anyone do this to another living being? How can we stop this? We had some many questions.


Thankfully there is two wonderful people doing all that they can to make a difference to these poor animals lives, Animals Australia's Lyn White and RSPCA Australia's Bidda Jones. These two wonderful ladies are doing what they can to fight this and you too can help Take Action by taking only a few minutes to sign the petition here. Animals Australia have current updates on their Facebook page here. It honestly, only takes a short moment and it will make the world of difference to these poor animals. 


When I was a 12 year old girl, I was traumatised by a school excursion to the local abattoir.  I can still see the visions so clearly. They run through my mind like a movie. Each step these live stock took till their death. As a young girl these images not only scared me into becoming a vegetarian but they haunted me. I would constantly have nightmares of what I saw. It was too much for my little eyes to see at such a young age. 


I vowed to never eat meat again, and honestly, I am surprised that my class mates were able to continue on and eat meat let alone lunch time that exact day!!


I can't exactly remember what my parents take was on my becoming a vegetarian. I dare say they thought it was just a phase. I loved, Meat pies, Spaghetti bolognese, Tacos and of course a cheese burger from McDonald's!!


But as the days and weeks went by, I didn't succumb when my Mum cooked her yummy bolognese. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I am very proud to say that I have been a vegetarian for 20 years now. 


I will admit there have been times in my life where I didn't like to talk about my choices. I really didn't like to get into the huge debate about it all. I would often say its the taste, I don't like the taste that's why, just so I could go about my day and not have to put up with lectures that all meat eaters would make me endure. 


It is and has always been so uncomfortable when I go out to someones place for a meal. I always have to remind people that I am a vegetarian which I always hate to do.  Not only do I feel rude but I think the host felt like they had to cook me some fang dangle vego meal which really is never the case. I will just eat the vegie part of the meal they plan to serve. In the end I just really stopped going to dinner parties and more opted to dine out with my friends. Much less complicated.


But today I stand up proud to be a vego and who ever doesn't like it can go and jump!!!

What I have left....

"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

I was "unlucky" I got stretch marks when I was pregnant. Strangely enough I didn't with Charlotte, and I figured it was because my skin had already stretched and had them. 

 I just love love love this. Even though I don't really hate my Stretch marks this really makes me love my shiny little stretchies. I guess its really one thing (aside from my girls ... obviously) I have left to remind me of the time my little princesses were in my Belly. That I... ME created such beautiful little people. I AM AMAZING!!

Are you like me?

It seriously amazes me how my house can go from clean house to trashed house in less then 30 mins! When my girls are up that's it. I spend my entire day cleaning up after them both. From packing away toys that have been played with to paint on the table, hands and faces, to food splattered around the place. It really never ends.

Some days Most days I just ignore it and sing and dance with my girls, play hide and seek, craft, read books and just bum around with them. But then, once they are in bed, it's time to put my house back together again *sigh* I actually forget what its like to not have to clean the entire house everyday. Pre baby days it was a 1 hour job on a Saturday morning to clean the entire house. Now its hours and hours on end all day every day.

Bella great at packing her toys away. She definitely needs to be in a good mood when I ask her though. She is very proud of herself when its all done. She puts everything away in the right spots too, which I love! Books on the book case toys in their right toy barrel, bikes where the bikes live, Lego's in their boxes. Is this the making of a clean freak? I hope so, well maybe not a freak as such.

Now I just need to train the Husband!! HA!

Osama bin laden

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My Dad was in the Army, he is now retired. Growing up with my Dad in the forces was hard. Not only personal challenges of travelling from school to school, house to house, but I always lived with the fear that one day he would have to go off to war. Thankfully, my Dad didn't have to go off to war as such, but that's another story.

I thought I would take a moment to weigh in on the discussion about Bin Ladens death and share my thoughts.

It was a public holiday here in Queensland. We had the TV on the kids channel whilst my Husband and I got on with the housework. Once the kids were in bed and it was time for us to put our feet up and have some lunch and watch TV, the news was all over the TV. Every single Channel {besides the kids channel}. We just looked at each other, dumbfounded. Wow Osama bin laden is really dead. They got him was the looks on our face. Then BAM! Just like that it hit me and I could see it hit Adam too. That sick feeling as we watched the footage of the Americans celebrating in the street.

Yes I believe its a good thing that this horrible man is now not alive and not in charge of Al-Qaeda.  It's left the world with one less evil person but there are hundreds if not thousands more like him.

For me I feel his death is a cause for concern.  I think we can all be 99% sure his death will be avenged only on a much larger scale. {We would be stupid to think that there wasn't a plan in place if he was ever killed}. More so now that pictures of the public in USA have been splashed all over the news celebrating a death like it's the greatest thing in the world. Why not just poke a bear with a pointy stick? A little bit of dignity goes a long way. The behaviour that's been on the news would be vilified if for example it was a bunch of "terrorists" celebrating the loss of lives after 9/11. Remember we often create our enemies by our behaviour.

Then there is the whole conspiracy theory about whether he really is dead. And the USA looking at releasing a photo as proof...

What's next for the world?

I do hope that this means the end of Al-Qaeda and we can all move past this and begin to all live in this world as harmonious as possible.

Hello

Hi Everyone...

just popping in to say Hello! I have been spending my nights being distracted by plans of my daughters Naming day and a few other things that have been going on. I am happy to say that now the Naming day is over I am free now to spend more time on my little blog.

I hope everyone has been well... I am off to catch up on what has been happening in blogland the last few months!!!

If this doesn't...

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MIA

I have been a bit MIA lately. I have been so crazy busy with life. Time just flies by and before I know it another week has past us by.


I have been working hard at my "life style change". I have been doing my best to eat well with a few little treats along the way. I have been doing my best to exercise most days.


I am very happy to report that I have lost 6kgs in 4 weeks! I am very happy with my result. I am so close to my my first goal of losing 10kgs. I can see a little change in my body. My clothes are feeling loose and I have actually had to pack some away and I hope to never have to put these clothes on again!


I still feel so exhausted every morning. The exercise endorphins that are meant to make me start to feel so energised haven't really kicked in yet. I feel exhausted most days and running around and keep my two girls happy whilst extremely exhausted is alot of hard work. I honestly have no idea how I manage to get out the door most afternoons and go and have a good work out! I think I get my 3rd or 4th wind for the day on the way to the gym and when there I give it all I have left in the tank. By the time I come home I am completely and utterly exhausted. But its all so worth it. I am hoping to start to feel re energised soon as I am a bit over feeling tired. 


Aside from that I have been spending my free time (when I can muster up the energy) I am working on my plans for Charlotte's naming day. It's now just over 2 weeks away or 16 days (eek! What a way to FREAK me out!!) I am no where near as organised as I would of hoped I would of been by now. I have managed to do bits and pieces here and there.


I miss you guys lots and I have lots of other stories to share and I will do my best to continue to blog but maybe not as often as I was before. After the naming day I will have a little bit of free time to continue to share my life with you...

Who am I? Figuring out who I am .... again

The last 3 years of my life, I feel like I haven't stopped. 

• I married the man of my dreams in October 2007

• I had my first child in October 2008

• Returned to full time work in November 2009

• I had my second child in September 2010

And that is just the big things that have happened - not the day to day stuff like, birthday parties, trips to the zoo, the park, Seaworld, friends places, and plane rides interstate. The list goes on and on.

Its hard to put this in words so I am going to do the best that I can. 


I went from being me - I knew this me, I knew her very well. I was comfortable in me skin, confident I looked after me. 


I then became a wife. Not much changed aside from my name, though it did take me almost 9 months to finally get off my butt and change it. I was still me just had a different last name. 

I then became a Mummy. Everything changed. My marriage, my body and my life. Out of those three 2 have changed for the better.  My marriage is rock solid. My husband and I are closer then ever... we fell deeper in love after each birth of our darling daughters. We are a team, a bloody good team. 


My life has changed for the better. I feel like I was born to be a Mummy. I love it. I am not one of those Mummy's who whinges and complains. I chose this, I love this life of mine. 

Which brings me to my body. The one part of my life that hasn't changed for the better. Yes, I expected stretch marks a few extra kgs. But I didn't expect what I was left with. A body I didn't recognise and alot more extra kgs then expected :( I am embarrassed, I am ashamed I am unrecognisable. 


I think that this is a huge part of why since being a Mummy I don't feel like me anymore. I don't even feel like a new improved version of me. Yes things are different now soooo different but why don't I feel like me.... the old me? I don't interact with people the way that I used to. I was someone who could chat for hours on end with a group of friends but now I can sit there in a group of people and not even enter the conversation. Still and silent. I lost my confidence.  At times I feel like I don't even know how to be social anymore.  I feel so awkward and unsure of myself and what to say. I was someone who was so active and social catching up with friends all the time. Now, prefer to stay at home, I don't get judged or stared at there. 


I was once someone who was active and fit and now I am lazy and overweight. I was a very health conscious person and watched what I was feeding my body but now I just eat cause I need to not caring what it is.


Maybe the care I once had for me is now used up on my Husband and my girls? Have I given up on me? How do I even start to get back to feeling like the old me? Am I the only one that feels like this? Is this normal? If I lose the weight will this bring back the old me?


These are the questions that continue to circle around in my mind over and over. 


I have no answers to my questions, I don't know if anyone out there does. I guess putting all these feelings out there might help me remember the person I used to be. Help me be me again....

Goodnight Kisses

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Last night was the first night that I wasn't able to say good night to Charlotte before she went to bed. I was stuck at the stupid gym *sad face*. 


I have this thing where I don't want to miss kissing my girls good night when they go off to bed. I know some might think it's silly, but I always want them to go to bed, closing their gorgeous little eyes knowing that their Mummy loves them. 


When I got home and saw that she was in bed {I already knew she would of been, so I was preparing myself} I was a bit sad. Thankfully, I was able to get some cuddles off Bella cause she was still awake.


I quickly jumped in the shower so I would be able to spend some time with Bella before she went to bed. When in the shower I couldn't stop thinking about missing Charlotte's bed time and the good night kiss... I cried....


I found it so hard when I was in hospital having Charlotte when I couldn't be there to give Bella her good night kiss. I just cry thinking about it.


I know that as they get older they will be off at school camps, sleep overs etc. I know I wont cope. I know I will be the Mummy that insists their friends have sleep overs at our house just so I don't miss the goodnight kiss and school camps... well they just can't go. 


Do you also hate missing goodnight kiss time?

Family Photos

We had family photos taken back in January by the wonderfully talented Rachel Ritcher.  I haven't recieved all the photos yet but I wanted to share with you what she posted on her blog.

We are so happy with them. Rachel is so talented and knows how to capture our girls in a way that shows off their little personalities. 


I honestly didn't think this day would actually happen. We had to postpone the session so many times due to rain, floods, sickness. 


The day of the latest scheduled session was a beautiful day out side. I was rushing around all day making sure I had all the outfits sorted and ironed. Whilst getting ready it started to get a bit dark. We had a look outside and our beautiful Queensland Summer day had turned into a Summer storm and it was headed our way. 


I tried not to panic. We all still got ready. I texted Rachel to tell her what the weather was doing this side of town to see what she thought. We decided to keep pushing on, but maybe get there a little earlier.


So we were ready and packed and on our way. A huge sense of relief swept across me as we were all in the car on our way and it hadn't rained.... yet.


The location was close to where we lived as Charlotte isn't a fan of car trips, so we didn't have far to go. On our way there it started to rain heavy and alot of it. The tears welled up in my eyes. I turned to Adam and said, 'what should we do?' He knew how bad I wanted to session to happen. Little Charlotte was growing up fast and I wanted to get some shots of her before she got any older. 


Adam said, 'We will keep driving. I am sure it's clear over there where the water is'.  


As we parked our car safe in the 'dry' car park at the location. I received a text message from Rachel. The Jetty and the beach where we were going to have our photos taken was.... C L O S E D!! Arghhhhhh!!


I mentioned that there was another little Jetty just down the road so we all piled back into our cars and headed to the revised location. Rachel had a bit of a squiz and said that she was happy with it and that we could get the shots done there.


Great I thought. Finally, its happening. What more could stop us now. The rain clouds had passed. The sky was looking clearer. Everything was perfect!


Adam got Charlotte out of the car first as she was quite upset and over being in the car. He handed her to me and in that second I grabbed her she showered me with vomit! Yep Vomit, all over my only outfit. My nicely ironed, nicely co-ordinated outfit. 


The tears welled up again. I thought how on earth were we going to get the photos done now that I am covered in vomit *sad face*


I honestly just couldn't believe my luck! I said to Rachel, 'What should we  do now?' She said it will be ok as I was wiping the vomit off my clothes. 


But thankfully, as you can see, Rachel did a great job and captured some great shots.


I am one very happy, proud Mummy!

It's Gym Time

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I love being a Mummy. I love it more then anything in the world. I love my girls. I love my Husband and I love my life. But... there is one thing that I don't like about my life. And... that is the baby weight I have been left with after having both my girls. 


I haven't really discussed my weight and the fact that I need to loose alot of weight to get to my pre baby weight, or better yet, a healthy weight. I think there is alot of people on my blog roll that are starting the same journey as me. I enjoy reading and following their journey and getting any hints and tips along the way. Seeing their progress is very inspiring.


Me, what's my story? 


Well, pre babies, I was a fit and healthy size 12. I used to frequent the gym 5 days a week {doing classes and cardio and weights} and sometimes on a Saturday if I was up early. I also had a personal trainer 1 day a week. I watched what I ate and drank and really cared and looked after myself. I was a self motivator and enjoyed exercising.


Post babies, well, I am a completely different person. I am far from a size 12. I don't do any regular exercise (I did start doing a boot camp training session which was once a fortnight) aside from chasing around my kids. I certainly don't watch what I eat. I eat what is fast and convenient and take away. Most days I try to eat 3 meals a day but some days this is hard. I snack on anything that is in the cupboard. Muesli bars, Tiny teddies, Cheese and biscuits.   Some days I just couldn't be bothered....tired and lazy!


Unfortunately, I am one of those girls who piles on the weight when pregnant. Mainly due to the sickness and craving all the naughty foods. My major weakness was Chocolate with both pregnancies. And, the cravings only came on at the later stages of the pregnancies so thats when all the weight piled on. 


So, I am taking steps to change my life. I need to start caring about me and start looking after myself as good as I do my girls and Husband. Stop putting myself last all the time. I need to be a little bit selfish and get some me time. Even if that is when I am running on the treadmill.


My first step was to change my eating habits. So, I have been on a healthy eating plan for 2 weeks and have lost 2kgs thus far (yayee me). 


Step 2 is joining up at my old gym. I headed there tonight and whilst there I put in some time on the treadmill and did a class also.


I felt so guilty leaving Adam during a peak time in this house with dinner and bath time. To help and ease my mummy guilt I had did what I could to ensure it was an easy take over. I had vegies cut up ready to go in the fridge for dinner as well as other parts of dinner organised. I made up Dinners for Charlotte for 3 days. I layed out PJ's etc etc...


When Adam came home and it was time for me to go. I was dressed and my bag was packed ready to go. Charlotte was having her afternoon nap so I only had to say good bye to Bella. I hate saying good bye. It's always an emotional thing for me especially when I am leaving to do me stuff. It is never easy. As I popped in the car I look at the front door and there is my darling husband and gorgeous daughter blowing me kisses *tears*. I drove off teary but a little proud that I was making a positive change in my life.


Walking back into that gym was weird. It was so familiar nothing had really changed and I felt like I did when I first joined up. I felt like I had never left! I felt pumped, energised I was ready to exercise.


It was very hard seeing my reflection in the mirror. It certainly has changed alot since last time I was in that gym. It was also hard doing the class and seeing myself struggle. I used to be one of the people down the front bouncing around. Now I am hiding at the back and struggling to complete the entire class, watching the clock and praying that the hour of torture would fly by.


But, a big part of changing my life is facing the real me. I think that this is exactly what I needed to see. I now know that I need to be doing this. I need to change my life.

Dear Blog

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I am so sorry that I have neglected you. I have been caught up in the Nappy hunt that is taking place and I. AM. ADDICTED. 

As you know blog, I don't get alot of free time these days as my two gorgeous girls keep me busy. So, the little free time I do have I have been enjoying the hunt. 

I hope you understand blog. You see, there are sites where the clues are hard very hard, and they get my mind boggling for hours at night. They drive me crazy insane until I get it right, until I find the 'You found it button'. It gets me squealing like a crazy school girl everytime I find one.

I promise I will return but for now... I am out hunting wabbits  icons! Oh and bargains!!

Yours sincerely

Me

Are you also doing the hunt? Have you found many icons?

Two years old...

At times, I forget that Bella is only 2. She isn't like any other 2 year old I know. She is so smart and such a delight to hang out with. I love spending my days with her, dancing, singing, laughing, giggling, reading stories and just chatting the days away. She is my best friend. And, if I am lucky and I'm in the good books, she will tell you I am her best friend too!


She speaks so well up to 8 to 10 words per sentence


She can say her ABC's


She can recognise most letters of the alphabet


She can count to 15 ~ working on 20 but gets a few fixed up


She can jump with 2 feet off the floor


She can count backwards from 5


She can tell you which is left and which is right

She can tell you her full name


She can tell you which suburb she lives in


She is starting to learn how to write her name


She is learning how to tell the time


She knows the days of the week


She can sing numerous songs 


She knows her colours


She knows her Shapes


She knows big and small, far and near etc etc


She knows feelings, happy or sad, angry or excited


She knows the difference between girls and boys


She takes direction well


She knows that when she takes her shoes off she puts them away in her room


She helps tidy her room


She loves crafts .... all sorts


She loves to help me in the kitchen 


She is currently toilet training and having alot of success


She knows when it's time for a nap or bed and she takes herself off




She is a huge help with Charlotte. A great big sister. She loves helping me make Charlotte's food, she keeps Charlotte entertained by dancing, singing songs. She loves to make her sister laugh.


She is so mature and so grown up. She loves to learn and she has the most amazing memory. If I tell her we are doing something on the weekend, when the weekend comes she tells me what we are doing. You can not promise her anything and think that she wont remember, cause she will. She always amazes me with her memory. If I tell her, tomorrow we will go for a walk to the park. When she wakes up in the morning the first thing she will tell me is that we are going for a walk to the park.

All this and she is only TWO! She is a remarkable little girl and I am luck that she is mine!

Welcome Autumn...

To me Autumn is...

The sound of crunchy leaves when you walk through them

Cooler afternoons

Cosy nights

Warm Cuppa's in the morning

Beautiful colours in the gardens

Lots of Birthday Celebrations

Picnics in the park

Should I?

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I have alot of Should I's going through my head these days...

Should I sell my beloved handbag collection? 

Should I sell my baby clothes that Charlotte has out grown? 

Should I sell all my prebaby 

{aka clothes I will probably never fit in again :( } clothes? 

Should I join a gym? 

Should I cut my hair? 

Should I dye my hair? 

Should I sell my wedding gown? 

Should I get a cleaner in so I can spend more time with my girls rather then always cleaning? 

Should I quit my job and become a SAHM?

Should I keep up my blog? 

Should I take a photography course?

Should I upgrade my car?

Should I keep those family and friends in my life who only seem to hurt me?

Should I organise that holiday we say we want to take?

Should I send Bella to Kindy?

Should I cut Bella's hair?

Should I send Bella to Private school?

Should I post this post?

If I could

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5 months old going on 2!

My baby (or not so baby) Charlotte is amazing! She is only 5 months old (almost 6) and she is moving around the place, already on solids and trying her hardest to speak. She is very vocal and is trying hard to get some words out. She is only 5 months old!!! 


Every day I see her watch her big sister Bella and she wants to be doing what Bella is doing. Whether it be painting, crafts, dancing, playing in the cubby. It doesn't matter. My little 5 month old thinks she is 2. So, my days are spent taking Charlotte around so she can play and interact with her big sister. When we are painting, or doing crafts she is sitting her in high chair or my lap watching or even participating in the craft. When Bella is eating, Charlotte wants a snack also. And if I don't carry her around for her to do what Bella does, boy does she let me know! She get sooo cranky at me. 


They are both smitten with each other and I knew that in time Charlotte would look up to her big sister and want to copy and do everything she does. I had know idea it would happen so soon!


Below pics are an example of my little 5 month old wanting to do what her sister is doing. Bella was on the floor playing with her Dora laptop. Charlotte made her way over and was wanting to play with it too. Bella was happy to share but Charlotte wanted it for herself. She was determined to play with it. Bella was happy to let her baby sister play with the laptop and watch.

It makes me sad, my little baby (and maybe my last baby) doesn't want to be a baby anymore *sad face*

Love it or hate it?

This morning when I was perusing the news headlines and the hollywood gossip whilst eating breakfast I spotted something..... My girl crush, Jennifer Aniston, has cut her hair!!


Jen has said goodbye to her gorgeous signature look and chopped her hair into a shoulder length bob. She stepped out in Madrid rocking this sexy tousled look.

Pics from various sites

Back in the 90s I had the 'Rachel' cut. A cut that she just loathes now according to Allure Magazine. Hahaha! Me, I actually think that it was one of the best hair styles I have ever had. My hair sat well, it had a bit of body to it. I loved it! 


But just like Jen, I moved on from the 'Rachel' cut and channelled her longer highlighted hair. My hair doesn't look as wonderful as hers especially now since I am a Mummy. I am lucky to straighten my hair once a month these days. My hair is forever stuck in a Mummy bun. 


What do you think of Jen's new style?  Love it or hate it??


I love it! It looks fresh, vibrant and its really nice to see her sporting a new do.


Jen isn't the only one sporting a new hair do. Justin Bieber also chopped of his famous locks. Tweens around the world would be in tears!

Pics from TMZ

I think it makes him look older. I love it!  
I never thought he would cut his famous hair. My poor little cousin will be lost now as he sported the Bieber cut and the flick of the hair!